Friday, April 16, 2010

Stabbed in the Heart and Letting Go

If someone stabs you in the heart will it stop beating?
Certainly it would depend on where the blow landed. For me, it landed smack in the middle, leaving me bleeding all over.

Of course I'm speaking metaphorically.

I come from, and married into, a family that knows how to celebrate everything: birthdays, anniversaries, commissioning, graduations, etc. For example, for my oldest son's graduation, we had a luau. Appropriate for him as he was born in Hawaii along with my hubby and second son. We certainly had food galore and people talked about it even three years later. Therefore, when my second son was ready to graduate, I thought I might repeat our last success, catering to his differing tastes of course.

We decided to have finger foods with a dessert bar designed to knock your socks off. The cost was half of what we spent on #1's graduation but no less spectacular. I designed the centerpieces that I would make, wire trees with origami and the two graduate’s photos. (My son goes to a private school. There are only two graduates this year as in most years). After I finalized my designs, I set about buying the supplies. My first stop was to the dollar store to pick up cheap ceramic flowerpots.
Don't get those.
Yeah, I heard that too.
So I moseyed on out of the store and over to the Home Depot to get the wire.
Don't get that.
Hmmm. Now I was beginning to get curious as to what the Lord knew that I didn't.

Well forget the ridiculousness of the question and just go with it.

Tuesday I got to school and the principal wanted to speak to me. The principal had told me last week that she wanted to get together this week to go over details of the graduation. I knew there was something out of place. Usually when someone tells me they want to talk with me about something, they mean they have something to say that I won't like.
Sure enough, as my grandmother would say, they did.
"The leadership has decided that if you want to have more than just cake and punch, you must find other arrangements. Due to wear and tear we cannot allow you to use the facilities."

That was stab number one.

Now I understand how some of you feel, and I did too. I understood, and would not argue the new rule, but to tell me just 4 weeks before graduation without a hope to find a new place to rent was truly a stabbing blow.
I also learned that the other graduates family did not want to have a party at all, but was perfectly happy with cake and punch.
Now you have to know with my family, cake and punch is insulting as a party alternative.
Second stab.
By this time, I was bleeding all over.
I was angry and hurt and insulted that this would happen to me.
Oh I wanted to give everyone of them a piece of my mind, but knew I could not "Be angry and sin not," if I did.
So I ranted at my hubby, instead.
To make a very long story short, I had a decision to make. Yes, it is extremely important to my family that we celebrate our son's lifetime achievement. Equally important was to let our family and friends know how much we loved and appreciated them by providing a wonderful time. However, the other graduating party was not cut from the same cloth. They are very happy with cake and punch.
I had to pray for a couple of hours, even a couple of days, to keep from sinning in my anger and hurting someone, but God moved in. He reminded me of the day He told us to resign my husband’s commission in the U.S. Navy. You see my husband was not ready to make that move and my pushing him to make it because “God said,” was harming our relationship. I didn’t know what do to until the Lord graciously came into my bedroom one night and said "Ginger, it is better to be in UNITY than it is to be RIGHT."

So we are having cake and punch for my son's graduation...and taking him on a family trip to Chicago to see a wonderful gymnastic competition he really wanted to see.

An acceptable compromise.

Tell me about your "Letting go," experience.

1 comment:

K.M. Weiland said...

Sorry about your disappointment. I hope the graduation and trip end up being fabulous nonetheless. Congratulations to your son!